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| I can't sleep... again.
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt though dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD: and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."
Psalm 37:3-5 I've been thinking about these verses so much this last month. Verses 4 and 5 used to confuse me to no end. "How can God give us the desires of our heart? We're sinful beings; our desires are evil. Everything we want is for some selfish motive. So how can God promise to bring those things to pass?" Ahh, interesting thinking, Doris. Pay attention to the first half of each verse, though; that would help.
We are commanded to trust in the Lord; we are commanded to delight in Him; we are commanded to commit our ways to Him. It is only when we do those things that the desires of our hearts will be given to us and those things will come to pass.
When we place our trust in Him, and delight in His word, and commit our ways to Him, what do you think will happen to our desires? They'll change. Drastically. "Not my will, but thine be done." God changes us from the inside, beginning with the heart. He changes how we look at the world. Our ideas of what we hold dear change. Our desires change.
Once our minds are held captive by trust in Christ, we will begin to want what we should want. The coolest part is that we don't have to work on changing our desires ourselves, necessarily. All we have to do is trust, delight, and commit: we have to have faith. And even that faith is a gift of the Spirit, not something we conjure up by ourselves.
All this is such a comfort to me. I love how God doesn't kick me to the curb when I screw up. Even when my desires are messed up, He still loves me... He loves me so much that He tests me, time and time again, so that He can work patience in me. Ah, how kind. And annoying, at times, and inconvenient, and.... God, couldn't you find a different way to work patience in me? I'm such a little girl. His ways are perfect, and so is His timing.
I hope I can sleep tonight.
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| True: "You have to learn how to die if you wanna be alive."
Okay, okay, whatever, I'm back. :)
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| BREAKING THE RULES
Just chilling on the steps of the Supreme Court...
The Capitol building. And me. =)
The trip is going wonderfully so far. The weather's been tolerable, I suppose. But not nice enough to even tempt me to ever move or go to school here. It's rained twice so far. ("Rain in July?? What? Oh.. we're not in California anymore!").
We went to a nice little church this morning that's only six miles away from the Naval Academy. David will hopefully be able to attend it while he's at the academy. The pastor is a Naval Academy graduate (!), and his son just spent a year in Romania on a mission's trip. He and his wife offered to sponsor David (that means David would be able to stay with them during his breaks and free weekends) and pray for him. Praise God for that!
I'll be back on Thursday... back to CA, that is. I'm still on my "break," though. Just thought I'd give a tiny update. :)
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| I've decided that I need to take a break from technology for a while... sad, I know. But I need to. I wish I had more self-control and that this wasn't necessary, but I have to do what I have to do, right? I think staying away from xanga, facebook, etc. will help me. And then there are all the movies I watch, the books I read, and the music I listen to that I need to cut out. I know they're not "bad things" or evil in themselves, but they certainly haven't been helping me grow. It's just a stinkin' heart problem that needs to... be worked out (ha, notice the passive there). No worries; I'm not becoming a nun or anything :). I'll be sure to have fun every once in a while.
I will be very busy this summer, anyways. I'm working full time now, I'll be doing lots of traveling (leaving for Annapolis on Thursday!), and I have many summer goals, as usual. I think I'm secretly viewing these next few months as a way to redeem myself from the guilt of failed New Year's resolutions. Besides working on/completing my top goal (which is to GROW UP, said with a harsh, serious, and sincere tone), I hope to finally, once and for all, become fluent in Romanian, start driving, paint two pictures, finish many, many books off the HS reading list, start cooking some more, and start making my own clothes. I'm especially excited about that last one. I don't know why.
So there you have it. I'll be back in however-long-it-takes.
Prayers would be cool. :)
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